I am a firm believer that real authentic love is something that one needs to tap into and practice regularly for it to become a natural part of who we are. Argue with me if you wish but I think when we are young, we tend to be ‘me’ centered. We love our parents when they demonstrate love towards us or when they give us what we want and we down-right feel we hate them when they don’t give us what we think we really want. When we begin to have a loving relationship with a partner of the opposite sex, we give that significant person all kinds of acts of love. Nothing is too big to give to them while we have all this ‘love energy’ we get from being in love. After awhile, the extreme high of being in love fades down to basic love and that basic love is the love we have learned to practice thus far. We may become more demanding and indignant that the other person is not so happy with us either. If we haven’t done so by now, this is the time we need to focus on how we can fully and authentically love our spouse, or our children or any other relationship we have. Sometimes we may think we are doing okay in giving or showing love to others but in fact, we may be falling short. Love is like an geyser within ourselves that we can always drill a bit deeper in order to strike it. If you can picture a geyser, then you can imagine that it is pretty near impossible to hold it back. Love like that can become almost effortless. However, it is the drilling that takes work.
I also find myself still amazed at just how transformative love can be for both the giver and the recipient. There have been times in my life where I have come across people who are hardened, tense or negative–the kind of people that makes other people feel tense just by being around them. During such times, I offered them love in the way of support, empathy and a listening ear. The result has been that their negativity tempered down some, their features and their voice softened and the respect I gave them was reciprocated. Likewise, I felt more kindness, empathy and respect towards them. What I initiated was not exactly natural at first but soon became natural. I drilled deep. I allowed their negative comments to past over me and believed that deep inside that person is a person like me who may just have seen some hard times. Both of us were transformed and our relationship with each other was improved. Although this has happened a few times, the transformation never fails to amaze me each time.
It reminds me of a few bible verses such as:
Love never fails
Love conquers all
Perfect love casts out fear
So if you have a problem with someone, love them! Drill into the source of your real loving self and see what happens.